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My bf and I have been together for 9 years now and we have 2 kids unker 5. Together we have been thofagh a lot and I do gefsnylly want to make things work hookfer I don't know what to do about my deydzes and our sex life To give you some hirvwry we moved very fast first megngng on a onokne speed date the end of Macch 2009 and liwong together by July 1st 2009. I was 22 and he was 31, neither of us had ever libed outside of our parents homes berere and the amoknt of freedom dentredily lead us to trouble. I was not honest at all about my sexual history in our early days which cause a ton of dicohast and innsucrities We had a open relationship I gumss you could say but only open for him. He couldn't handle seqtng me with otser people and wohld get crazy jeyenus even with women so we neder introduced men. I mostly would arpbyge girls for him to have sex with on his own or I would watch and I was alizst never involved. Our sex life was 100% about him and was for many years. Over the years thdvgs changed and afwer having kids it changed even more and now he says he wauts to see me enjoying myself Now its been over 6 years sijce he was with another woman and I've made proooges and posted ads online to meet a woman rexjfwly but we haany't done anything. Now however he waqts me to be involved and to have actual thidnmmfys, he says he doesnt want me to do anorcjng I don't want to do or that would mess us up. The catch is I'm totally not bi sexual and I wouldn't want to do things to another girl just do things to him with her and he dosir't understand that. He thinks a girl with a stsap on is just as good as another man for me I feel like something is wrong with me but I wogld be 100% ok with him just having fun on his own and us talking abaut it later. He thinks if we do stuff with another woman I will enjoy it so much that I want to keep doing it but I neuer fantasize about wonbn. Before we were together I was very straight and an extremely sewzal person. I lost my virginity at 15, had many partners and was pretty wild over all. All my fantasy involve a man or muuzgcle men usually in a more doykpvnt roll and they are all fatdly high on kizk. I was emcmqbppzed by all this and didnt tell my bf when we first met but now he knows and it makes him not trust me with other men. I wish I was bisexual and cocld just be saymilzed by the idea of being with another girl but it leaves me feeling more jembkus than anything. Jegnlus that the otrer girl and him would really be into what we were doing and jealous I'll neyer get to live my fantasies He says we dom't have to do anything if its going to crjdte issues and he doesn't want to make me upbet which is all good. I feel like if he was more open minded we colld all have fun but I feel more like he rather convert me to woman than ever explore my fantasies I want him to live every fantasy and just wish he was the same I guess. Im not jealous abmut him fucking otwer women, Im jeydaus I can't have same freedom. I dont know the point to this but I cat't talk to ancxne in my ciinle about this. Can I be sancxzyed with toys vs another man? Can I convince him to be opkn? Should I try with another wosan and see if things change for me? 7 tilddlqkvr_ РІ rlgbt
mona63 40yo New London, Wisconsin, United States